MICHAEL JACKSON’S FUNERAL

LOS ANGELES, CA – Plans for Michael Jackson’s funeral have been revealed by his estate.

Michael Jackson died yesterday afternoon of a heart attack.  People all over the world mourn the loss of the King of Pop.  In cities across the globe people gathered in squares and parks with candles in hand to mournfully sing his classics like “Beat It” and “Don’t Stop till You Get Enough.”  In Utah the Salt Lake City Boys Choir did an a cappella version of “Billie Jean” that was broadcast on loudspeakers into the city and on Mormon Television Networks.

Representatives of the Jackson estate have released a statement detailing some of the plans for Mr. Jackson’s funeral.  In his will Jackson wishes for his body to be cremated and sprinkled over the surface of the moon.  However since then his finances have taken a downturn and new plans have had to be created.

A somber and respectful service will be held at an upscale funeral home in Los Angeles.  The funeral will be closed casket, with a large picture of Michael from 1982.    Seated front row will be Jackson’s ex-wife Lisa Marie Presley, the  skeleton of the Elephant Man, Bubbles 4 (the most recent pet monkey to carry the name), and Macaulay Culkin.

The remaining members of the Four Tops, The Temptations, Stevie Wonder, Diana Ross and the Supremes will all perform at the ceremony to pay their respects.  Acting as pallbearers will be the Harlem Globetrotters, who made Michael an honorary member in 1978.

President Barack Obama has expressed his sadness at the news of Jackson’s death.  In respect he held his press conference on the matter wearing one white glove.  Secret Service reports indicate he spent last night drinking scotch and moon-walking through the White House.

Sources within the intelligence community believe that Kim Jong Il may be planning a tribute concert in Pyongyang, wearing a red leather version of his standard jumpsuit.  Photographs show Kim Jong Il desperately trying to learn the dance to Thriller.

The closed casket, and other details, have raised some questions.  Yesterday afternoon also saw a flurry of strange meteorological activity over the New Mexico desert.  When asked, one source working out of Area 51 who wishes to remain anonymous said “Michael?  He not dead.  He’s just going home.”

Despite his many controversies and eccentricities the world mourns the loss of this unforgettable musical icon.

MICHAEL JACKSON’S FUNERAL

MICHAEL JACKSON FAKED HIS OWN DEATH?

NEW YORK, NY – Has The King of Pop imitated The King by faking his own death?




In a 1994 issue of Weekly World News, it was predicted that superstar Michael Jackson was so heartsick with the nightmare his troubled life had become, he would fake his own death – just like Elvis!

“Michael Jackson, like Elvis, is sick and tired of being larger than life and wants to get a life,” said world-renowned psychic and metaphysician Dr. Andy Reiss at the time.

“The superstar trip has trapped Michael in Neverland. Also there’s a very good chance he could end up in prison if he’s convicted of child sex abuse.

“The only way out of this mess he’s in is to fake his death, cut his hair and go underground,” says Dr. Reiss, who specializes in celebrity predictions.

Dr. Reiss believes The Gloved One will try to escape his hellish existence by “dying” in Neverland, his remote amusement park retreat.

“The cover story will be that Michael Jackson suffered a fatal heart attack while riding his Ferris wheel. Jackson’s ‘remains’ will be cremated and his ‘ashes’ will be scattered on the grounds of his estate,” he explains.

“The only way for Michael to start a fresh new life is to end the grotesque  life he has now. He learned the trick from Elvis.”
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While Jackson did not end his days at his beloved Neverland, he did indeed “die” of a heart attack this afternoon.

Did Jackson’s plans come to fruition? Is he still alive somewhere?

MICHAEL JACKSON FAKED HIS OWN DEATH?

It’s A Bird… It’s A Plane… It’s Zuckerberg

Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound,The amazing Creator Of Planet Facebook.. The Man worth a Billon Dollars Zukerberg…..

Mark Zukerberg has become the Social Networking head that helps connecting People all around the world, and he just added another feather to his cap today.

He would be a comic Book Super Hero from Today onwards.
There is  “giant-sized” 48-page issue  released by Canadian comic production company Bluewater Productions, written by freelance journalist Jerome Maida and illustrated by Sal Field.

“Mark Zuckerberg is the youngest billionaire on the planet and created something that has already had a profound impact on the world. Yet hardly anyone knows much about him. It’s amazing,” said Maida, adding that he’s trying to give context to a complex public figure in his portrayal of Zuckerberg.

“Rightly or wrongly, Mark dealt harshly with some people on his way to where he is today. As we see, he left many people feeling betrayed. I try my best to be fair here,” said Maida.

Thanks to his billionaire status and the many lawsuits surrounding Facebook, Zuckerberg was already an (unwilling) star of David Fincher’s movie The Social Network, which is up for several Academy Awards. Thanks to the comic, Zuckerberg may also end up being an animated character, as the production company Hayden 5 Media optioned the script to create an animated film based on it.

The comic costs $6.99 and is available in comic book stores starting today.
Don’t be amazed if your Child wants to compare you with Farm animals after reading this Book!!!

It’s A Bird… It’s A Plane… It’s Zuckerberg

Facebook is like a Jail

Could not find a better description for Facebook than this one !!!

Facebook is like a Jail

Facebook Destroys 80% Marriages

Facebook ends marriages Don’t be surprised, it exactly means what it means.

According to a recent report an astonishing 80% of U.S. divorce lawyers report that social media evidence is now cited in divorce cases as one of the many reasons a marriage comes crashing to an end. One in five doomed married couples cite Facebook by name in their divorce proceedings, according to a recent survey of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.

While the high number is surprising  the behavior it entails is nothing new:

Flirty messages and photographs found on Facebook are increasingly being cited as proof of unreasonable behaviour or irreconcilable differences. Many cases revolve around social media users who get back in touch with old flames they hadn’t heard from in many years.

Anyway…80%! That’s awful! Thankfully the numbers are not so high in the country I live in.

Facebook Destroys 80% Marriages

FACEBOOK WILL END ON MARCH 15th!

PALO ALTO, CA –Mark Zuckerberg announced that Facebook will be shut down in March. Managing the site has become too stressful.



“Facebook has gotten out of control,” said Zuckerberg in a press conference outside his Palo Alto office, “and the stress of managing this company has ruined my life. I need to put an end to all the madness.”
Zuckerberg went on to explain that starting March 15th, users will no longer be able to access their Facebook accounts.

“After March 15th the whole website shuts down,” said Avrat Humarthi, Vice President of Technical Affairs at Facebook. “So if you ever want to see your pictures again, I recommend you take them off the internet. You won’t be able to get them back after Facebook goes out of business.”
Zuckerberg said the decision to shut down Facebook was difficult, but that he does not think people will be upset.

“I personally don’t think it’s a big deal,” he said in a private phone interview. “And to be honest, I think it’s for the better. Without Facebook, people will have to go outside and make real friends. That’s always a good thing.”

Some Facebook users were furious upon hearing the shocking news.
“What am I going to do without Facebook?” said Denise Bradshaw, a high school student from Indiana. “My life revolves around it. I’m on Facebook at least 10 hours a day. Now what am I going to do with all that free time?”

However, parents across the country have been experiencing a long anticipated sense of relief.
“I’m glad the Facebook nightmare is over,” said Jon Guttari, a single parent from Detroit. “Now my teenager’s face won’t be glued to a computer screen all day. Maybe I can even have a conversation with her.”

Those in the financial industry are criticizing Zuckerberg for walking away from a multibillion dollar franchise. Facebook is currently ranked as one of the wealthiest businesses in the world, with economists estimating its value at around 7.9 billion.

But Zuckerberg remains unruffled by these accusations. He said he will stand by his decision to give Facebook the axe.

“I don’t care about the money,” said Zuckerberg. “I just want my old life back.”

The Facebook Corporation suggests that users remove all of their personal information from the website before March 15th. After that date, all photos, notes, links, and videos will be permanently erased.

FACEBOOK WILL END ON MARCH 15th!